Log in

No account? Create an account
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in AndyA's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
12:39 pm
To put a stop to all this
You win Stephanie your a better person than I. Now go forth in life and live. Now can you quit bothering me?
Saturday, April 28th, 2007
1:24 pm


STEVE HUMBLET, your okay, just loosen the fuck up and have some fun and don't care what anyone thinks.
1:56 am
My Odd Nite
Tonite I went out for 2nd St. Patricks Day. I didn't arrive until late due to the fact I was driving a sweet ass 68 Camero, but thats a different story.

Well I arrive at the bar to find both Patricks completely drunk out of their minds. So I make my greetings to them all and continue on. It was really crowded and I'm not sure why but I felt uncomfortable it was just to much so I escaped up stairs for a little bit to chill out there with the more... 'relaxed' people.

Well after being up there for a while I started to aclimatise to the party atmosphere. I went back down and chatted with all for a bit and then was asked to give a ride to 2 of my friends girl friends so\they could meet up with 3 of my other friends girl friends at a bar across town with dancing and the grinding.

(Side Note: I'm also friends with all of these girls and their boy friends. Not super tight all the way around but cool enough over all. I'd never do anything with any of them (honest) and its just cool.)

So I walk into the bar to see chick I can't stand at the door. So I bull aside the 2 girls I'm with and ask if one of them will kinda shield/hang on me just to give me a reason to ignore/make her jealous. She's also friends with Steph and if she does report back I'd like to fuck with her head just a tiny bit for fun.

The 1 girl with me is the girl friend of my buddy Patrick, the other girl is cool, she has a boyfriend but I don't know him at all. I just know her the only one of the girls whose boyfriends I didn't know that nite.

So we go into the bar and dance and dance I chat with them all and hang out. I assumed I'd play chaperone also but these girls all know how to take care of themselves.

I gotta wonder though, what is it about me that makes all of my friends think I can take their girls to the sluttiest bar in town and they don't care. Am I that non-threating? Regardless it was fun.

Mental Note: Remind M2#D ASAP.

Well now I'm home and its off to bed. We may do this again tommorw.
Friday, April 27th, 2007
8:14 am
I hate you Timber
So I remember it's 2nd St. Patricks day this weekend.  So I need to purcahse gifts (stabby or drinky).  So I decide to stop at the bar to see if Pat was around and find out what he wants.  Well I have a SoCo and 7.  Its all I wanted.  Then after its almost done he comes over with a SoCo bottle and dumps enough in to almost fill the glass.  Then a few shots and another SoCo later I realise I"m fucked.

I go home at 11 and call up some friends and chat.  Well after all that its around 12mn and I decide to lay down.  Bad idea the room is spinning like a centerfuge.  So after wandering the house and trying to straighten out at 1 I finally lay down and pass out with the lights on.  Well I get up this morning to find all the lights off and the heater on.  I have no idea how that happened.  Stupid alchool zombie effects.

I supposed to go out this weekend to and drink some more with friends for the 2nd St. Patricks day.  I think I imght have to just do soda. 

All in all I guess the main point I"m trying to make is I don't like alchool.
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
10:26 pm
I now have a PC at home.  But I"m running a live CD with no hard drive so I can't really do much besides browse the web.  I can't get any IM clients to work so it sucks. 

But at least I can sit from the comfort of my couch all naked and say this is what I think.

I think I should goto bed.

Love ya world.

Except for the ones I hate.

You can die in a fire.
Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
10:59 pm
Holy Shit Batman
2 Update in 2 Days!

Well I'm social again, now do I like it?

Don't know yet, I need to work more but I spend half a evening talking to friends. 

I need to focus more during the day.  A lot more.

Need to work hard core tommorw.  Like Crazy Hardcore.

So stop bugging me you freaks!

haha Just Kidding, I just need to focus my life.

Either dedicated completely to what I'm doing or stop.  Not half assin it.

Starting Now.
Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
10:50 pm
Somthing New-
I know I said I'd write in here all the time but it feels I have nothing to really say.

But I've discovered I hate myself and my low will power.

The last few days I've watched TV, constantly almost.  Its just I'd turn it on and sit there and watch somthing, not somthing I really wanted to but just the best out of what was available. 

On advice I've started just unplugging my tv yesterday morning.  I then took a shower and realised as soon as I got out and dried off I automatically went for the remote to turn it back on. 

I think its part of having ADD and also now that I'm single again. 

I realised its only been 6 weeks since I broke up with Steph.  It feels so much longer ago some days and so much shorter others.  I've decided that I deserve to be treated better than that.  May she wake up years from now, realize what she lost, and cry knowing that she will never get it back from me. 

The only sad thing is I think I've become a bit more bitter and guarded about myself now.  I guess thats just my own emotional growth.  So it goes.

Well its almost 11 and time to get Victoria. 

Good nite world.
Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
1:45 am
I've been replaced in just over 5 weeks by Steph and her 'new' guy.

Don't I feel good about life.
Monday, April 9th, 2007
4:21 am
Holy Shit Oww!
I woke up at 3:30 in so much pain.

My stomach felt swollen. 

My Back ached like crazy

at 4 I left for trigs to get somthing to make it go away.

They are closed and walmart is closed.

I came to the office to get some Asprin but  it is really fucking hurting now.

Ow owowowowo

I think I should goto the Doctor.
Thursday, April 5th, 2007
7:46 pm
    I just feel really lonely in my life right now.  I know part of it is Steph, but the rest of it I'm not sure about.  Do I just feel lonely cause someone is gone or is it because I've lost touch with so many people that I'm trying to refind.

I guess I just need to expand my hobbies or somthing.
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
11:41 pm
I've decided I'm going to write in this every damn day until I feel better about my life.

At the moment I'm sad (See previous post.). 

I'm going to write about my day and try to help myself deal with these emotions, I strongly encourage comments to make me feel better cause I'm weak and new to this experience.


Busy freaking day at work, but I had a case of add+missing Steph.  So I got very little work done this morning and its almost 12mn and I'm still here.

    As I drove to a job today on 51 heading north toward Hurely I was reminded of Steph.  I rarely drive out this way on my own.  In fact if Steph hadn't taken me up there I'd proably never have gone further North than Hurely more than once a year to visit a customer or if someone else had suggested it.  I'm not a 'north guy'.  There isn't much up there I thought, I like it south.  They're cities, and people, and technology, jobs, colleges, humanity in general is there.  All that is north are deer fuckers and red necks.  But we did go up there and she showed me Lake Superior and we walked amongst the cliffs and sand, picked up stones from the beach for her collection, and walked in the surf a bit.  It was beautiful. 
    All of this happened in a blink of a eye as I thought for a moment, all the memories flooding like a tidal wave into a sand castle, overwhelming feelings and emotions, love, jealousy, anger, loss, fear and happiness.  I'm rather proud I didn't cry, I didn't even tear up or get any other type of misty eyes.  I just felt empty and sad.  Knowing that that part of my life is over with her.  Its a part I didn't want to end.  But of course I can't recall all the bad times.  All the yelling, the emotion(less) looks and feelings.  I know I ended it myself really, of course maybe she had ended it in her head long before that and just hadn't told me.  I don't know, I didn't know then and I still don't know. 

    All of that hitting me at once while trying to work.  I ended up a hour late to that job.  Usually a quickly written note before leaving will jog my memory enough to find almost any place I need to go.   This time I might as well have written in Kanji with a highlighter for all the good it did me. 
I finished the job but it took longer than expected but it was done in as professional manner as I could muster.
    After I got back I sat home for a minute, slowly cleaning the house until my next job.  I've started cleaning a lot lately.  Mostly to cover up her scent and her hair.  Everytime I reach for somthing under the couch or grab a book off the shelf I find a little bit of her hair.  Its the most depressing thing to me.  So now I clean to erase her but every thing I find that she left behind makes me a little bit sadder.  I slowly take it and pile it in the kitchen. 
    Its a little sad monument to our lost love made of Gameboy chargers, little toys, pots and pans, and the odd picture or two.  I had to put it all away  since everytime I walked by it I'd look and get depressed.
(Pile of bitterness here deleted)

    I think what really happened is a long time ago she did invest all her love in me to the point of I couldn't leave the house or she'd cry.  I finally told her that I had to go out and see people.  Then she accpected it and closed off and kept closing ever since.  I should have tried harder maybe to stop it, I did try but I guess it was to little to late and by the time I realised it was happening I had no way to open her back up to me, and she had made up her mind I wasn't the one to reopen her.  I wish I was but I'm not.  Sad.  I'm sure somewhere she'll read this and laugh.  But she never was good with her emotions.

Now I'm here at the office, I have a pile of work to do since I blew most of the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon.  I have a wierd error that needs fixin. 

I'm going to go do that and go home and to bed.

Good nite world, I'll see you tommorw.
Saturday, March 24th, 2007
10:13 am
So I'm offically Single Again. (Conciouse Though)
Its over.

The love is gone or dead.

What ever bit was holding on hope is gone.

Its the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to myself.  I still care, but I think I miss the past and the fact it will never return with that person, the passions, the feelings, the emotions.  They are dead now.  I'm left alone with nothing wreck of my emotions and a half empty apartment.  Words can not describe the depression I'm feeling.  I'm a man so a don't cry, but I get very misty and sad.  I wake up and barely wanna get outta bed, the only reason I do is because laying down and being awake reminds me of the times I used to watch her lay in bed.  I get up and wander around in a zombie state praying my TiVo has somthing on it distracting enough to keep me from feeling this, failing that though I hope the book I picked off the shelf last nite will keep my interest.  Eventually I goto work but I just bury myself in it.  Trying to use it as a pressure release to deal with these feelings.  See if I work hard enough and ignore the feelings they go down deep inside me.  But then I come home at nite, then the horror starts I just hear voices in my head screaming at me and every damn inch of that apartment reminds me of her.  I need to rearrange the furniture but it won't help.  I sit and watch TV or read, Just anything so I don't have to feel stuff at the moment, I know I should deal with it but its to painful right now.  I tried last nite but I couldn't stop pacing and just being very unhappy.  Luckily I was saved by Patrick and we went and played some video games and drank a beer.  It was good but that can't happen every nite.  I'm in such a shitty place emotionally. 

The worse part is this is my first long term relationship that was really fucking long sure I've dated for weeks or months but 3.5 years, thats a record.  Now I've got a new one, longest relationship that ended.  Its a record I do not want to have.  All I can think about right now are the beutiful cliffs and shoreline of lake Superior that she showed me that I never new exsisted.  I'd love to jump off those cliffs and see if I can swim.  Don't worry I won't actually do it, I have to much to do here to have time to go do that, besides I was never good at directions and I'd proably get  lost anyways. 

I know deep down we are very different people but we had so much fun together but then it all just soured.  But I held on hoping, hell part of me still does but I know for her its proably over anyways so I should just let it all go.   God I need a to relax.  But I'm to poor, i have a 3grand paper weight and a pile of vacation debit.  Nothing else to do but work pay and go through life.  Maybe I'll find another woman, lol and then I'll shit gold bricks

I just don't wanna feel this right now, I dont' wanna feeling anything. 

She came over last nite to get some oil and sit.  All I could do was look at her and cry.  All she could do was sit there and look sad.  It was very depressing.  I think I'm still depressed about it.  I told her I'd do anything I could to get back with her.  All she said was "I know".  I don't know if I could feel happy she knows or sad that it felt like she took it for granted.

I don't know. 
I just really don't
I'll stop now before I really start to ramble, I have work to do.

God life sucks at the moment.

Current Mood: depressed
Saturday, February 10th, 2007
3:15 am
Holy Hell on a Biscut
If any of you ever have a ccfl light go bad let me know.  I'll take it and jam the shards right up your ass, that will be less painfull than trying to have it fixed.  First the light is the wrong size, the second light is the wrong size, the THIRD light is the right size but to thick, it fits.  But now nothing will go back together in the case cause I had to wait so long ot reassemble it all my memory is foggy and of course their isn't a decent manual in exsistence for this computer, or its in Chinese or somthing. 

So now its all together and the damn light doesnt light up, which is basically the only reason it exsist.  Now to getout the multi meter but tis 3am..

Fuck I'm tired.
its due at 9am
Friday, December 8th, 2006
10:25 pm
So I'm Single.
I think.

I've been engaged for 2 years and some change.  But I was told last nite she cares about me and loves me but doesn't romantically love me anymore.  Which really sucks I must say.  But we decided to work on it.  Good.  But now she thinks well both be to bitter to eachother and she can't see spending her life with me anymore.  We've been in a bit of a bad spot lately these last few months but she said it was normal and it would change.  I really hoped so cause it was making me rather sad and I did consider leaving her over it.  But I believed her like a chump swallowed resentment, and figured it was all my fault that she felt that way.  I must have been doing somthing wrong to maker her not like me or that it was a phase that would pass.  Well it hasn't for her so she now wants to leave.  Right now i just feel sad.  I'm sure it will pass soon enough.  Now I just have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
7:25 pm
Wow, the worlds best idea.
I stole this from Scott Adams Journal. Its not mine I Take no Credit, I don't even take credit for reading it. I just kinda absorbed it but I have a feeling I'd love to sit, have a beer, and talk with any man who could think of this:

GREAT Idea or Possibly Stupid

I have a theory that says no one can tell the difference between a GREAT idea and a stupid one. If anyone had that sort of insight, he would be able to charge a billion dollars an hour for consulting, and there would be a long line of corporations willing to pay it.

People can often tell the difference between a run-of-the-mill "GOOD" idea and a bad idea. But GREAT ideas often look identical to stupid ones right up until the moment they work.

With that in mind, I give you my latest idea that is either great or stupid. Pretend you can tell the difference. I call my idea the Hypnosis Restaurant.

All patrons of the hypnosis restaurant would agree to be hypnotized before dining. Obviously this would make the food taste better and the service would appear spectacular. The hypnosis would all be above board and voluntary. And for liability reasons the restaurant would record everything that happens with security cameras and get signed releases.

As a trained hypnotist myself, I can tell you that about 20% of the public is highly suggestible. For them, the dining experience would be a guaranteed 4-star experience. And contrary to popular myths, people do remember their time under hypnosis. So customers would have great memories to take with them too.

Once under hypnosis, your dining options would be unlimited. One obvious advantage is that the kitchen would never run out of anything you want. Your server could give you a turnip and tell you it was crème brulee. You'd enjoy it just as much as if it was crème brulee, and as a bonus you wouldn’t need to wear your fat pants the next day.

Another benefit is that you could have dinner with anyone you wanted, living or dead, at least in your mind. I know from my previous post that many of you regularly imagine conversations with Ben Franklin. He could join you at the table along with any celebrity of your choice. You could specify your dinner fantasy in advance and then the hypnotist would provide it. If you want Paris Hilton at your table, or under it, the choice is yours.

For the majority of the public who are less easily hypnotized, even they would get a tremendous benefit from the relaxation that comes with hypnosis. In fact, most people enjoy being hypnotized as much as they would enjoy a manicure or a foot massage. It simply feels good to be the subject of someone’s undivided attention and have no responsibility other than relaxing. And as you know, food tastes better when you’re in a relaxed frame of mind. So even if you couldn’t hallucinate that Ben Franklin was at your table, you’d still be glad you came.

From the restaurant’s point of view, I can’t think of a better way to generate repeat business. Some people would resist the suggestion that they should come again, thinking they are being manipulated. But for every one of those people there is another who will agree to eat at the Hypnosis Restaurant seven times a day and think it was his own idea. In time, the entire business would consist of the most highly suggestible people who become regulars. This would be a big money saver for the restaurant because at that point you could stop serving food and just tell people they’re eating.

Eventually there would be some sort of lawsuit alleging that the Hypnosis Restaurant is forcing people to repeatedly patronize the restaurant against their wills. But in order to win that suit, a lawyer would have to convince a jury of your peers that free will doesn’t exist.

And you know that won’t happen.

Now thats just Great.
Thursday, October 5th, 2006
9:04 pm
Please note.
Fuck DELL/Gateway/and E-Machines.

Joe Sixpack: I need a computer but I'm cheap.
Joe Sixpack: He looky here, my local mega store now sells computers, and if I get it I get a free pair of socks!
Joe Sixpack: Takes it home
Joe Sixpack: I better get DSL, my music to slow to get
//5 minutes later on a broad band connection.
Joe Sixpack: WTF this pc is slow already.
//Computer PS Blows
//Motherboard Dies in a heap
//Anything that ever touched the computer is now cursed included the repair person that has to explain that even though you just got it *a while ago* it was a very cheap Pc that many corners where cut on and to replace it with quality parts that won't explode it will cost about 30% of what they paid for it.
//There are no free tube socks.

The final act.

//Distributor: You want socket 478? We don't have the good boards in stock. But they'll be in right after the speical ice skate order for hell.
//me to world
Sunday, July 30th, 2006
2:45 am
So if your TRUE Star Wars Fans.
You have to watch this.

I'm looking at you Brian.


Watch it and die inside.
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
4:42 pm
I am the coolest person ever.
I own Guitar Heros.

... or maybe that makes me the lamest. I'm not sure but damn it's fun.
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
4:31 pm
A Question...
Can something in the past undo the future?
Can you make a mistake so bad it hurts those you've never knew?
Can a bullet shot from years ago hit someone you love in the future?
Will it ever go away or does it just keep tearing on?
If time heals wounds it must mean it can create them also.
I'm bleeding from something that happened years ago but just hit me now.

I was sitting in the dark
and the pain just hit
The bullet breaks the skin
and I start to hurt again.

What happened in the past
Should always try to stay their
But it always finds a way
to come and hurt me again

...I'm not emo but I bleed like I am.

What you will
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
1:21 pm
Every one else did it.
and I'll post it cause I got a fun answer

After you die...
Reincarnated as Yourself

After death, you will be reborn again as yourself. You will live the same life, unbeknownst to you. However, you will have vivid moments of d�j� vu, as you probably have now.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

I'll see you again
[ << Previous 20 ]
Minocqusucks   About LiveJournal.com